Narcissists are attracted to people who can tolerate their abuse. According to Sharie Stines, a recovery expert who specialises in personality disorders and complex trauma; narcissists are attracted to people who are forgiving, loyal, outward focussed, self-sacrificing, overly responsible, and accommodating.”
Here’s how narcissists exploit these positive traits in their victims
- Forgiving. For a narcissist to continue abusing his victim, he needs someone who can tolerate the abuse, someone who will always forgive them.
- Self-sacrificing. To be self-sacrificing is to base your reactions or decisions on how others feel instead of how you feel. The victim has no concern for themselves.
- Accommodating. Narcissists want to be surrounded by people who avoid their wants and needs, and compromises to prioritise the needs of the narcissist.
Based on this newfound wisdom of how narcissists operate Stones advises that victims must choose “when and with whom [they] will demonstrate [their] good traits…[and] spend [their] good traits only on those who deserve them and will use them well.”
To learn more about how the qualities that narcissists exploit in their victims read the full article here.