Jonice Webb is a licensed psychologist known worldwide for her work on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN).
In her article published on the website, PsychCentral, she shares a brief description of CEN. She details the symptoms, causes and the remedy for CEN.
According to Webb, the cause of CEN is “when your parents ignore your emotions while they raise you [and] send you a message that…it is selfish to pay attention to your feelings and needs.”
She says that children who grew up with parents ignoring their needs become adults who subconsciously ignore their own needs as adults.
Webb proposes the following five-set process to address this:
- Start paying attention to yourself: Make a concerted effort to give yourself the attention you did not get as a child.
- Plan to ask yourself the following questions daily: “What do I want?” What do I need?” What do I feel?”
- Listen to yourself: You won’t always know the answers, but the more you ask yourself these questions, the more you will start to think about those questions. Be ready to listen to the response.
- Accept the answers: Webb says you won’t always like or agree with the answer you get, but accept it and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. Validate your feelings by voicing it, and be seen and heard.
- Prioritise you: Once you know what your needs are, put them first. Stop making others a priority and make yourself a priority. Webb says, “it’s not selfish; it’s responsible.”
Make 2020 your year. For more information to deal with CEN, read Webb’s full article here.