Throughout this year we’ve helped you identify narcissists, with blog posts like, Do you know a pure narcissist, Are you in a relationship with a narcissist. If you need more information on what a narcissist is, please read through these two articles, it will help you identify the characteristics of a narcissist in more detail. A narcissist has a severe lack of empathy, unrealistic and grandeur view of self, and they make attempts to emotionally and psychologically destroy anyone who threatens their self-view and the perceptions others hold of them. According to Shahida Arabi, a Bestselling Author on topics of narcissistic abuse, “narcissists enjoy bullying those who evoke their pathological envy and associating themselves with those they deem “special and unique.” Therefore, if a narcissist has targeted you, “know that it is not your fault,” says Arabi.
Arabi, in her article published on PsychCentral, shares eleven things she believes targets of narcissists should avoid doing with a narcissist to practice harm reduction.
Below we highlight three things to avoid.
1. Don’t spend holidays and any special celebrations with a narcissist
Arabi says that narcissists “are infamous in sabotaging events which would make you happy and take the attention off of them.” Therefore, never “disclose an important deadline or interview to them, they will ruin it.” Don’t share any good news with them or ever use them as a sounding board.
2. Don’t attend social gatherings with narcissists
Narcissists use gatherings “to create love triangles and to flirt with others in front of you to get you to vie for their attention.” Where possible, try and avoid attending social gatherings with narcissists, they will use this as an opportunity to make you seem jealous while “the narcissist charms the crowd and devalues you.
3. Don’t disclose any private information to narcissists
A narcissist will use the personal information you share with them about deep wounds, insecurities, traumas, or fears against you and use it as ammunition “to paint you as unstable, “crazy,” or “losing it.” Take your time to get to know someone and test whether you can trust them with your life stories.
These are just some of the ways you can protect yourself against an abuser; click here to read more.