Gaslighting can be one of the most severe forms of emotional abuse. On the Yokhuselo Haven Blog, we often publish blog posts about gaslighting. Gaslighting can be a very subtle form of abuse and difficult for victims to identify and we think it’s crucial to have in-depth article articles about gaslighting.
“Gaslighting is when your emotions, words, and experiences are twisted and used against you, causing you to question your reality… Once an abusive partner has broken down your ability to trust your perspective, you may be more vulnerable to the effects of abuse.”
One of the main effects of gaslighting is that the victim does not trust what they remember because the abuser makes them second-guess their experiences. In one of the posts published, we spoke about the subtle signs of gaslighting.
Abusers are experts at gaslighting, and therefore it can be difficult for the victim to recognise the signs and protect themselves.
Since the aim of gaslighting is to make the victim doubt their experiences, it can be helpful to keep proof of the incident(s) so you can rely on the evidence.
Below are some ways that you can keep proof to remind yourself of your experience.
1. Record your experiences in a journal or with voice memos.
Write down or record the date and time that the incident occurred and give as much detail as possible.
2. Inform a trusted friend or family member about your experiences
By telling someone and repeating the details of the incidents, it helps you to remember and it makes sense of how wrong the abuser was in doing it. It is important to tell someone when you experience abuse so that you have someone to rely on if the situation worsens.
3. Take pictures and email proof
Take pictures, make videos or voice recordings of any examples of the abuse, where possible. Email this evidence to a trusted friend or family member. Emailing the proof also ensures that there is proof of evidence somewhere else besides your phone or journal.
The proof, as mentioned above, is essential for two reasons; “evidence of what occurred can help with your mental health… seeing proof that it happened, validates your experience, challenges the effects of your partner’s abuse, and can help you determine reality. Proof can also be useful when taking legal action against the abuser.”
However, it would be wise to check your state’s law on recording conversations before sharing the evidence.
For more information on gaslighting, read the full article here.