We can all probably remember at least one person who shamed us for our perceived weaknesses; it can be a teacher who scolded you in front of your classmates for not knowing how to solve a math’s problem, a friend who teased you for not being able to play sport or siblings who teased you for a speech impediment. It can still be happening. It could be your life partner who always finds fault with everything you do.
Shame is all around us, people shame others for various reasons, some because they want to help, but don’t know to help. Others do it because they just want to humiliate you. Whatever the reason is, it is still your choice whether to internalise it. When we internalise shame, we make it part of who we are. According to Therapist, Dana Belletiere, “shame doesn’t create change, it creates fear.” In her article published on PsychCentral, she explains that “self-work must start from a place of love, acceptance, compassion, and gentleness to be effective.”
How to deal with your weaknesses respectfully
- Approach your perceived weaknesses with kindness and neutrality
- Remove all judgements you have about your perceived weaknesses
- Step aside and work on your weaknesses compassionately, giving yourself time to make a change and placing no pressure on yourself.
- Dig a little deeper and be honest about what you need to do to develop those parts of yourself
- Accept that weaknesses, or what you perceive to be your weaknesses are nothing to be ashamed of because no one is perfect
For more information on how to approach self-work, click here.