You could be stuck with a victim mentality and not even aware of it. Christine Hammond, who a is Licensed Mental Health Counselor, explains on Psych Central how easy it is to get stuck. In her article she described the behaviour and words of someone stuck in this mentality. Below are some examples
- You complain a lot.
Someone who sees themselves as a victim complains a lot and they are unable to see the positive things happening in their life. Hammond explains that “seeing the positive things in life can help to diminish a complaining attitude.”
- You antagonise.
You make it someone else’s fault, or you say that if a certain person behaved in a specific way, things would change. However, when the person acts the way you require, you change the goalpost, making it impossible for the other person to meet your needs, thus leaving you in the state of deeming yourself the victim.
- You exaggerate.
By exaggerating, saying that things will “always” be the same, that things will “never change”, or that you have tried “everything” gives a sense of hopelessness. It is not possible for someone to have tried everything. There will always be something that hasn’t been tried to solve an issue. Therefore it is a generalisation which perpetuates the idea that there is no hope and helps you to keep yourself in the victim mentality.
- You generalise.
You say things like “no one” understands me, everyone’s the same. This is not true, as there will always be someone who can help you. By generalising, you refute any kind of solution and refuse to consider or even see the solution when it comes your way.
Hammond shares eleven ways that someone can get stuck in victim mentality. To read the full article click here.