VersAnnette Blackman-Bosia writes about the journey of healing after experiencing domestic violence. The article is targeted at single mothers who face additional challenges to leave an abusive relationship. Caring for their children and carrying that financial burden alone is a big deterrent for women to leave an abusive relationship. Although the hardest part of the job is done, leaving, it is not the end. Abuse has long-term effects on victims and they must make a concerted effort to heal.
These are some of the steps Blackman-Bosia suggests:
- Get counselling. Talk to a psychologist, a professional. You need to speak to someone who will be objective. Family and friends can’t always maintain objectivity due to the nature of their relationship with you or with the abuser. You need an objective view.
- Find yourself again. Spend time doing the things you love, or loved before the abuse happened.
- Change the environment where the abuse happened. Make the place yours by decorating, or move if possible.
- Connect with other abuse survivors. It can be difficult to remind yourself that what happened to you was not your fault, especially when the abuser imprinted this idea in your mind daily. When you speak to survivors you are reminded that the abuser never had any right to abuse you.
- Pay it forward. Going through abuse can be very lonely, especially if you have no support network. You know how it feels to be there. Once you’re healed, and have dealt with the past, reach out to help someone else, even if it means simply listening to them.
Read the full article here.